she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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