And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
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