why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
