I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize