I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We need to get me chipped asap
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
