You work out of a Hotel?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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