East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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