Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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