I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
