Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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