i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
