Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
