i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
