she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
