How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
