More tranny stories later!
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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