Soap is not a condiment
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
