is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize