I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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