I'm lost and stupid without you.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
