i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
