I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize