A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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