I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
