I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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