Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Rumble strips road head = magical
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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