shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
