No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Watching her eat just hurts me
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
