So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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