Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
