Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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