Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
