ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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