If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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