So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
