You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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