I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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