If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
