It's like God shit irony all over that family
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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