proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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