At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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