:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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