I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
