so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize