He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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