omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
