how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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