It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I skipped work to stalk him.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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