marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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