It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
