I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
