I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
