Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
