Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
And then he peed in my hair
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