I can't watch pbs sober anymore
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
