I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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