we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
