he shaved USA in his pubs
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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