I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
