I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
