FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he thought i was a dude.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
