I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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