I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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