The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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