i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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